10 Things Learned: From A Child and A Parent

  1. As a parent you can and do make mistakes.  What you do after them determines what kind of parent and more importantly the example of person you are for your children.
  2. As a parent you have dreams for your kids, but do not strangle their dreams by your expectations.
  3. As a parent, there is a fine line between control and discipline.  Each child lines are different as their shape; color with in them and they will brighten and flourish, color outside of them and they will be empty and trapped in a mold they did not create.
  4. As a parent, learn to let go.  Pick your battles, and realize although you would have preferred their natural hair color to the current rainbow, experiments in individuality regarding clothes, hair make up etc. does not make them a bad person, what it is, is them trying to find their place in a world of 6 billion people while safely under your realm.
  5. Even as a parent, respect is earned, not granted.  A child, especially venturing in to adulthood, needs to be treated with respect in order to replicate and show respect and be willing to communicate with you, the parent.  Lead by example.  Show them what respect is, communicate it and its importance, and you will find a lesser burden of conflict on your both, even if the answer remains “no.”
  6. As a parent, as scary as it is to let your babies become adults and go off in the world alone, believe in yourself that you have put the best that you were able, in to them, and know that although they will make mistakes, encounter hardships, and experience things you many never have, it is ok.  Be there for them, be happy for them when they are happy, express concerns if you have them, but do not berate them as they are still a child under your roof.
  7. As a parent, do not ever be afraid to say you are sorry to your child when you mess up.  From small child on to adulthood.   This example set for your children will go on to serve them well, that you are human, you are considerate, empathetic, sympathetic, and secure enough to admit fault and respectful enough to ask for forgiveness.
  8. As a parent, casting judgment is a terrible thing.  So is comparing siblings, crap talking others, and thinking you are better than others for futile reasons.  If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.  Comparing people on the outside, without knowing beyond the surface, assuming things, to cast judgment upon without knowing someone is the most disrespectful thing you can show your children, teaching them a person is not worth getting to know-you can and they can be hated just by being there.
  9. As a parent, generational gaps are like being caught in the past, trying to relive something or holding on to something that is now gone.  Learning to live in the present, while planning for the future is uplifting; it is freeing, and encourages development of your soul and mind to new thinks.  In life you should go to death learning something new every day.  That should not stop when you hit adulthood because that is how we did it or how things were “back then.”  It also helps you understand the world your children live in- especially when it comes to social norms and media exposures.
  10. As a parent, love your children for who they are.  You do not always have to like them, but make sure they always know you love them. They did not ask to be here and born to you. They were born with certain genetic make-up and your nurture made them who they are and continue to be.  IF you don’t like them when they are an adult, chances are, you are a good chunk to blame.  Talk about guilt!  Talk about pressure!  They may not be what you dreamed, but if they are happy with their life, be happy for them.  It is not your life, it is theirs.  You don’t know what they need to be happy, they do. They should do what makes them happy, not what makes others happy for them.

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About waukegan2college13

Waukegan to College (W2C) is a college readiness program that was founded by Lake County United (LCU), a broad-based citizen's organization composed of roughly 35 churches, synagogues, mosques, and nonprofit organizations that work to improve the quality of life of the residents in Lake County. In July 2012, W2C launched as an independent organization and now a member institution of LCU!

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